Dreams Can Never Hurt Me
by TheColorYaoi
Summary: Onodera keeps having nightmares, what can Takano do to help? Lots of fluff stuff and a (poorly written) lemon in the middle so beware!
1. Chapter 1

_I had woken up in Takano-san's bed, fully clothed. It didn't feel as if we had done anything naughty last night. In fact, it didn't feel like I had seen him last night at all. "Takano-san?" I called, but I heard no answer. Something felt strange as I began to walk around the apartment. I tried to turn on the lights, the water, but it wasn't working. And there wasn't furniture either, in the living room, kitchen, there was nothing. I went back to the bedroom, and it was empty. Even the bed had disappeared._

_I barely bothered to put on shoes as I left the apartment building. It felt like less than five minutes before I arrived at the publishing office. I took the elevator ride up and walked on over to the shoujo department. Everyone looked exhausted, with some even passed out on their desks, nothing out of the ordinary, to be honest. _

_Takano-san was nowhere in sight. _

_I found a certain dark-haired co-worker of mine sprawled out on a pile of mangas. "Oi, Kisa, wake up!" I said shaking him roughly. _

_"..Huh…? Oh, hey there Ricchan…" He said lazily while rubbing his head. _

_"Where's Takano-san?" I asked immediately, shouting a little louder than was necessary. _

_His eyes widened slowly, as if shocked by what I had said, but still tired he said "Eh… Takano moved 5 months ago." _

_Now my eyes widened. "He… He moved?" How could he have moved? I don't remember hearing anything like that… _

_"Yeah. With his wife, to China. He had his reception here in the office, you were there. Don't you remember?"_

_So many thoughts were going through my mind at once. His wife? Who did he marry? After all his attempts to get me to return his love… He must have moved on. He must have thought it was useless, that all his work was being proven futile, and moved on. And the only person I could have blamed was myself. I was the one who pushed him away. I was the one who rejected his love. I was the one who expected Takano to hold on even if I gave him clear signs that I didn't want him in my life. But I did. I needed Takano-san in my life. I needed him to hold me in a warm embrace, to give me chaste kisses even when we were alone, and to tell me he loved me just so I would stay with him. I loved Takano-san. And the one I loved had ran away, never to return._

_Just as I had done to him._

I woke up from my dream to feel something soft and warm on my forehead. It was Takano-san.

When I opened my eyes I saw his expression filled with love. "Good morning, sleepyhead." He said before he gave me a warm, loving kiss on my lips. I didn't want it to stop for a long time, as it was very relieving to feel him like this after the awful nightmare I had had just now, but it stopped much too soon.

"Good morning" I replied afterwards, his expression not changing. _I wonder if he could tell what I was dreaming about._

It wasn't until he got up and off the bed that I realized he was casually dressed, as if he didn't plan to go anywhere special, if anywhere at all. "I already made breakfast for us. And I grabbed a change of clothes from your apartment for you."

I looked at the clothes that were folded neatly on the bedside table. They were casual as well. I then looked at the clock on the same table. 8:00. "Uhm, that's nice of you, thank you.. But shouldn't we be getting ready for work?"

"Oh, I already called in sick for the both of us, so we have the day off." He said with the same loving smile.

"You did what!?" I said with an annoyed expression.

He looked at me the same. "Why are you giving me that response!? I got you the day off!"

"I don't want to be seen as a slacker at work!"

He sighed, frustratingly. "Can't you just be grateful? I made you breakfast, and got you a change of clothes!"

"Well I don't see why you felt compelled to do that stuff for me! It's not like you're my lover or anything!" 4

His frustrated expression faded away into seriousness. He sat back down on the bed and leaned in for a kiss. I didn't try to stop him, and our lips connected. After a few seconds he pulled back and gave me a tight hug, leaving my face nuzzled in his neck. "Haven't I already told that I am your lover, Onodera?" I felt my cheeks get slightly hotter at his words, and felt a tiny peck by my ear, and he let go of me standing back up. "I'll be waiting for you in the kitchen." He said, and walked away.

When the door closed I got up from the bed and started to change into the clothes Takano had brought for me. He had also brought over my toothbrush, so I went to brush my teeth in the bathroom as well. After I was done I went to the kitchen and found Takano-san at the table. I sat down and looked at my plate. Takano made me scrambles eggs lightly salted with a few pinches of pepper. Next to them I had two pancakes, each delicately buttered with a generous amount of syrup with a few dashes of powdered sugar. He also gave me an orange in a little bowl to the side, cut and peeled exactly as I liked it all those years ago. On his plate was an omelet, felled with cheddar cheese and bits of sausage, toaster waffles were buttered and syrup coated, but also had a few blue berries on top, and a couple strips of bacon (I couldn't help but worry about his health). He had obviously put more effort into my meal than his. We gave our thanks and began to eat.

There was a silence between us at first, not an awkward one but it was there. "It's really good." I unintentionally mumbled, just to start conversation.

"Well I always try my best for you, my dear."

I blushed at his last words. _My dear_. "There never is a time when you don't try to flirt, is there?"

"I always try to make you feel special, love."

I couldn't see the expression on his face since my gaze was cast down towards my food, purposefully to avoid eye contact with him.

Then his tone got more serious. "Oh, Onodera I wanted to ask you about something."

I looked up at him. "Yes?" "Well, you see, this morning when I went to wake you up, you were obviously still fast asleep, and your face looked pretty distressed. Were you having a bad dream or something?"

I faintly remembered it. In my dream, I had found out Takano-san had moved on from trying to win over my love. My eyes widened in realization of it. "Oh! Um no really, it was just…" My voice faded off as I looked to the side. _What if my dream ever did come true? Would I be okay if Takano ever left me? I never thought I would come to return his feelings, but…_

"Onodera," he said with the same tone in his voice "you can tell me anything you want to, you know that right?"

I slowly nodded my head, still not making eye contact with him.

"What was your dream about?"

My face started to slightly turn red in embarrassment. "Oh, nothing! Really, it's fine. I don't remember much of it, to be honest." I offered a reassuring smile so he would hopefully stop worrying about it, because there was no way I was actually going to tell him. It would be embarrassing to tell the person I try my best to avoid all the time that I had a nightmare of him being out of my life.

Unfortunately, his doubtful face showed he didn't believe me. "Well… I guess I won't force an answer out of you then if you don't want to tell me…"

And then the silence returned. I thought that I could finish the meal and sneak off to work, but Takano spoke up again.

"You know Onodera, I really would like to spend today in bed with you."

"But we were just in bed together all last night!" I said, slightly annoyed at his priorities.

"Well that was sleeping. I want us to lay down, cuddle next to each other, our foreheads pressed together, exchanging tiny kisses, and talking about how much we love each other-"

"But I don't love you!"

"Well then we can talk about that, it doesn't make a difference to me as long as I get to spend the day with you." He had that loving smirk I hated so much plastered on his face as he said it.


	2. Chapter 2

We finished our argument (in the end, I agreed to two hours in bed before we both got ready to head into the office), washed the dishes, cleaned the table, and when we had finished Takano decided to push me up against the nearest wall and kiss me roughly, yet lovingly.

"We're not having sex!" I said when he pulled away. My face got hot as I said it, but I was definitely not doing that type of stuff this morning.

He started laughing softly "Hehe, I already told you my plans for us today."

"Well normally this is how it starts, and you're not very good at telling the truth, if you weren't aware…" I said, my face red, my eyes looking off to the side.

"I can't believe you would think so low of me!" He said teasingly annoyed.

"Well it's not like it would be the first time!"

Without another word, he planted on me another kiss as we made our way to the bedroom. He flopped us down on the bed, and held me tight. My face leaned against his chest as I began to relax, and I balled up my hands near his stomach. "Hold me back, Onodera." He whispered, and I granted his wish non-too hesitantly.

His warmth next to mine felt good somehow. His hands gently rubbed my back, and I would feel pecks on my head or forehead. It was soothing. Every few minutes he'd gesture with his head nudging at mine to lift my face, and we'd share a warm kiss. It wasn't very sexual, but still I stayed stiff. I tried to rub tiny circles on his back with my fingers at one point, and stopped from embarrassment. I could feel him smile, and he gave me a small kiss on my head, "Go ahead, Ritsu. You don't need to be shy." Instead of responding, I closed my eyes and, surprisingly, was able to drift off into a deeper sleep than I thought I'd be able to.

_I sat curled up on my couch, my knees touching my forehead. My apartment was dark and gloomy, and I can't remember the last time I cleaned or ate. It felt like it's been years since I found out Takano-san had left. He had left me. Why was I feeling so alone? In high school I was able to get over him. I ran away, not telling Takano-san a thing, and I was fine. I guess it feels different on the other end of the stick._

_I had gotten up from the couch feeling like a zombie. I put on shoes and left my apartment. I then stopped in front of the door next to me, where Takano used to live. As useless as I knew it was, I knocked quietly on the door and whispered "Takano-san… if only you would come back I promise I'll make things right…" I began talking through tears, "I want to be together with you, I don't want to be defiant anymore, I just…" I paused, thinking of how best to get my thoughts clear, as if he was there listening, "I love you Takano-san…" I crouched on the floor, and my eyes began to flood with the salty liquid._

_After a couple of minutes, my crying hadn't died down. I felt like it wouldn't until I had Takano-san back in my life, like he was before. _

_And then I felt a presence in front of me. Somehow the tears stopped, and I looked up to see a tall, skinny, dark-haired figure. _

_Takano-san. _

_Without thinking I stood up and clung to him, burying my face in shoulder, feeling his warmth in any way I could. Except he didn't feel warm, nor did he feel very loving, part of the reason being he wasn't hugging me back. In fact, I didn't think he was reacting at all. _

_I looked up at his face, "Takano-san…?". _

_He was looking down at me with what looked like disgust in his face. He pushed me back forcefully and said "What the hell do you think you're doing?" _

_"T-Takano-" _

_"You think I'm just going to give into you after all that time you rejected me? I think I made it very clear to you that I loved you more than I had ever loved anyone, because I had never loved anyone before you. But I was wrong. I would never fall in love with a selfish jerk like you." He slammed the door, disappearing from my sight. _

_Automatically I tried to open the door again, but it was locked. Frantically I pounded on the door yelling "Takano-san! Please open up! Let me explain!" The door opened on its own and after a split second of hesitation I ran in and looked all around the apartment for him. I checked all the rooms, even the bathrooms, and when I couldn't find him I got so desperate I started checking drawers and cabinets._

_I had to have spent at least fifteen minutes searching before I gave up and crawled on to Takano's cold bed. Why was I so shocked about what he had said? It was all true. He did anything and everything to show me how much he loved me and I took his love for granted. I knew my feelings for him but I was too selfish to tell him or at least show him in the tiniest way. I only showed Takano signs of hate, even though I didn't hate him. Being honest with myself, I got what I deserved. And I didn't get what I didn't deserve, which was Takano._

Again, I had snapped out of my dream. As I awoke, I could feel hot breath against my ears. I then realized that the hot breath was words. "Onodera... wake up… it'll be ok… I'm right here for you… I love you… just think about me and it'll be fine."

What he didn't know was that I was thinking of him, not in the most pleasant way, but I was thinking of him.

I took a moment to wake up fully before whispering "Takano-san" to let him know I was awake. He took his face away from my ear to look at me in the eye. His expression was filled with concern. Without saying anything he leaned in for a passionate kiss, and we stayed there for a while. I reached my hands up and clasped them around his neck, as tight as I possibly could without causing him pain. I didn't want the kiss the end for a long time. I wanted to kiss him until I conjured up enough strength to say exactly what I was thinking- _I never want to lose you. I want to love you, and you love me in return._

But, as I expected, that didn't happen. When the kiss ended Takano planted delicate kisses all around my face, while taking one of my hands from his neck and connecting them perfectly. After a few moments, he gave me another warm kiss on my lips, me kissing back, and looked at my face with the same look of concern. He brought up our hands that were still intertwined and kissed the back of my hand. He rested it on his chest and began to softly stroke my cheek with his free hand.

He said "Onodera, tell me what's bothering you."

My face was hot and I wanted to cry for no good reason. Fighting the tears, I began to make more excuses "I don't know what you're talking about. I really am fine-"

"No you're not. You looked like you wanted to cry just now. You were having a bad dream, and sometimes bad dreams are caused by stress. I think there's something you're not telling me."

I looked at his full, beautiful eyes. He obviously wasn't going to take no for an answer. He knows just as well as I do that there _is_ something bothering me.

I sighed and looked away from him, "You are very persistent, you know that?" I knew I was blushing.

He chuckled slightly, which released some tension in the air and made it easier to think. Smiling, he said, "You're important to me Ritsu," He was still stroking my cheek, "Of course I'm persistent. Can't you see that I'm worried about you? I understand privacy, but I want to help you. This is the second time today I've seen you this troubled in your sleep and, for all I know, this might not be the first time this has happened."

"Well I can assure you it is. And getting worked up over little things like this isn't good for your health. I'm a grown man too, I don't need someone watching after me all the time."

He leaned his face in closer until our foreheads touched. "I can't help it, Ritsu. I love you."

Again, I couldn't help but look at his perfectly structured face. I remembered my dream, I remembered the awful words that came from Takano's mouth, as he looked at me with that face of antipathy. I didn't want him to look at me like that in real life, ever. I couldn't imagine feeling how I felt in that dream in real life.

"Takano-san… I want to tell you something, or, ask you something… Can I?" My face grew red from embarrassment, but I knew this was the right thing to do. Lying takes you nowhere.

"Of course, dear." He said, lightly cupping my cheek in his palm.

I gulped and began to speak, "Do you think that… it's maybe possible that one day you'll get tired of me, and, um… leave…?"

His eyes went wide, as if he overheard someone saying something offensive about him behind his back. A tear ran down my face, as I wasn't strong enough to hold back my sadness. "Oh, Ritsu." He mumbled.

I tried to hide my face in the pillow, but Takano's hand prevented me from doing so. His grip tightened on the hand holding mine, and pressed it just a little harder against his chest. Our lips connected, but I was the one to break it. I didn't want Takano to see me with tears streaming down my face, so I separated my face from his, and rested my head deep into his shoulder. The hand on my cheek moved to the back of my head to pet my hair, Takano not releasing my hand from his.

With a kiss on the top of my head, he began with "Ritsu, I want you to listen closely. Look at me." I buried my head deeper into his shoulder in protest. With another kiss, quieter than before he said "I want to look you in the eye as I say this, so I can show you how much I mean my words, and I want you to look at me so you won't forget what I say this time."

Hesitantly, I pulled away my head enough to look him in the eye. He stared at my wet face, and he gave me just a chaste kiss before pulling back and staring at me seriously in the eye. "I don't lie when I tell you that you were my first love, you know that right?" I nodded my head. "Well, you know how I felt the ten years we were separated. That's how I know I love you. If you were just some petty crush, I would have gotten over you the minute I found out you were gone. But I didn't. You were my love, my first love. I don't intend on losing sight of you ever again. Never in a million years will I ever get bored of you." His smile grew bigger with love in his eyes. "You're my first love, and even if you leave me you'll be my last, because it's just not possible for me to love someone else as much as I love you."


	3. Chapter 3

[*LEMON ALERT you have been warned*]

My tears had stopped, and all I could think about was Takano's words. Somewhere deep down, I had already known all that. But just having the knowledge of what he just said not so deep down in my brain made a huge difference. It's relieving when we have these moments. I feel so overflowed with emotion, and again I hear something being repeated in the back of my head.

_I love him. I love him. I love him. I love him._

He leaned in and, yet again, kissed me passionately.

_I love him. I love him. I love him._

I kissed him back with as much love as I could muster, and tightly squeezed back the hand I was still holding.

_I love him. I love him_.

When the kiss ended he looked into my face, and I could tell he was expecting me to say something.

_I love him_.

So I said something, "I love you."

He was shocked, but for just a moment, before connecting our lips and flipping us over so that he was on top of me. He pulled away enough to look at my face. He finally took his hand away from mine and stroked my cheek, "I know you do, Ritsu." His gaze at my face was deep and filled with love, and he looked happy from what I said. I was blushing madly but I hoped what I said would change things between us, I hoped it would get rid of my doubts.

He kissed me again while running his hand up under my shirt, pushing it up, and teasing one of my nipples. "Ah…" He began kissing my jaw and down, leaving a mark on my neck, and eventually removing my shirt. I clutched on to his shirt that I hoped would come off soon.

He leaned down even further leaving kisses on my chest and continuing down. My hands moved from Takano's shoulders to the bed sheets. When he reached my abdomen, he began to unbutton and pull down my pants. He threw them to the side and decided to tease me by cupping my crotch that was still covered by my boxers. "Ah…mh…" I did my best to cover my moans but it was no use. "Geez Ritsu… You're already so hot and wet…" My face blushed as he said it but I thought it was best to keep quiet.

Finally he pulled down my boxers and began to stroke my member. "Mh… Ah! Takano-san!" He covered my tip with his mouth and began to lick and suck in such a pleasant and intimate way. It wasn't long before I came into Takano's mouth. He didn't even pull away, I spilled my entire load into his mouth. I knew he swallowed, which somehow I found hot despite how disgusting it was.

My grasp on the sheets loosened as my head was turned to the side and I was panting softly. Takano came back up and kissed me, and I knew he wasn't done with me yet. He reached a finger to my hole and without him even entering me I reflexively held on to his shoulders, grabbed hold of his shirt and panted out "Off". He smirked and leaned up to take off his shirt, along with his pants and boxers. Moving back on top of me, he gently grabbed one of my wrists and guided it towards his erection, "Touch me, Ritsu." When I started stroking he pushed into me with his finger and I let out a loud moan. We remained in eye contact while pleasuring each other. My body got hotter and hotter as he added two, three fingers, and my member became erected again. Takano was releasing pre-cum that started to spread out on my hand. After a few moments of that, he pulled his fingers out, and I grabbed onto his bare shoulders. I looked down to where Takano and I were about to connect. As he led his member toward my entrance, he connected our lips before entering me.

I moaned into his mouth and threw my head back, only to be met by another kiss. It hurt a little at first, like always, but I had grown used to the pain. Now it just felt _really good_.

Despite how much he hides it, you can see the pleasure in Takano's face too if you looked really deep, which was what I was doing. Somehow it made me happy to see him like that. You can also tell he's close when his kisses get sloppier, or he just stops looking at me and pants into my shoulder. He was close now, and so was I. Takano stroked my member a few times and I came. Takano did the same not long after.

He fell down beside me, and turned me so he was holding me from behind. His face was leaned against my shoulder. I could hear his deep pants. I was also tired, despite how many times I've slept today. After a little while, my eyes were closed and I was ready to take another nap with Takano-san.

I felt Takano rest his chin against my shoulder and he whispered hot in my ear, "I love you, Onodera."

Not responding, I dozed off into sleep.

_I somehow ended up on the roof of our building. Stars were scattered around the dark blue sky above me. I think it's amazing how they belong to a world beyond us, a whole other world we don't fit in. Thinking about these wonders is somehow relaxing; distracting from all my other problems I should spend more time thinking about. But thinking about those things hurt… What's the point? _

_I can't even think of what's wrong anymore… but I can think of Takano-san… I want him here… but I don't know where he is… _

_Thinking of this I bring my knees to my shoulder and bury my head in them- until I feel something behind me. It wasn't a 'feeling' like something was touching me, but I could tell something was there. Or, more like, someone. I turn around and instantly feel a mix of exhilaration and relief wash over me like a large wave hitting the shore- It was Takano-san. _

_I was too overwhelmed to do anything, but he came over and hugged me warmly, lovingly, much unlike how I remember from before. I still didn't move, but I didn't think I had to. _

_He whispered in my ear, "I'd never leave you, Onodera. I love you." _

_I responded with, "I love you, too."_


	4. Chapter 4

When I woke up I felt l very refreshed, warm with a tinge of liveliness. I opened my eyes to see Takano looking at me with all the love he could possibly show. He smiled and greeted me with a kiss. "I would say good morning but it's almost 2 o' clock in the afternoon."

My eyes widened, "2 o' clock!? Crap, we were supposed to go to work!"

His expression not changing, he said, "Hey Onodera, can I ask what you were dreaming about?"

I give him a face of confusion.

"Whatever you were just dreaming about, it looked like a good dream. It'd be a shame if you forgot it."

"How are you so sure it was a good dream?"

"Oh I don't know… You just looked so relaxed and happy," his gaze started to drift off to the side and his smile slowly turned into a smirk, "And, if I'm not mistaken, I think I heard you mumble something along the lines of 'I love you'."

I blushed and gritted my teeth, "No, you definitely heard wrong! I had an awful dream!"

He looked back at me with a smile and kissed me before hugging me and saying in my ear, "I just hope you were dreaming of me, Ritsu." He looked back at me, "Were you?"

"I most certainly was not!"

"Then who were you dreaming about?"

"No one! And why are you so concerned about my dreams anyways!?"

"Because I have to make sure every good dream of yours is about me, of course."

"Well I'll have you know all my nightmares are about you!"

Still smiling and looking into my eyes with enamor, he says "Well, you know what I was dreaming about?"

"What?"

"Our wedding day."

Frustrated at his words I say "Would you stop with that! Who's to say we're going to have a wedding anyways!?"

"I am. Just think about it Ritsu, it'd be so special! We could have the ceremony outside near a vineyard in warm, refreshing spring air, and have dinner in a large, elegant dining room with a crystal chandelier hanging in the middle of the ceiling, dancing our first dance as a married couple under it to classical, romantic music. And I'd bet you'd look beautiful with your veil pushed behind your head, in a strapless white dress that drags on the floor, covered in lace-"

"I'm not going to get married to you, and certainly not in a dress!"

Teasingly, he sighed and gave me a dumb look, "You're such a buzz kill." He then tucked my head in his chest with a hand petting the back of it, "And, you know, I enjoyed your company today, Ritsu."

* * *

><p>After some bickering, I finally convinced Takano-san to go into the office with me. Everyone was concerned about our health due to Takano's lie, but we convinced them we were fine and went on with a normal work day (well, as normal as a 'normal work day' could get…).<p>

I let myself get distracted in my work, and tried not to think much about all that had happened today, but ended up doing so. I thought about the awful dreams I had, along with the good ones. I thought about how Takano had cared for me when he saw me upset, and smiled at me when he saw me happy. I thought about when I told him I loved him. It was embarrassing, and I just hope he'll remember so I won't have to say it again. Yeah, I want to be closer to him, but it's still embarrassing for me to say that kind of stuff…

I didn't have enough strength to tell him that I had also enjoyed being with him today. There's something about Takano-san, something through his sarcastic remarks and annoyingly constant sex, that I absolutely love, even though I hate everything else. The way he holds me close when we sleep together, and kisses me when I wake up in the morning, I know that's who he really is. I know Takano-san can't read my mind, and sometimes that concerns me. He may not even be aware that there _are_ things I love about him. It would be a lot to ask of him to remember every tiny thing I do to show him I don't hate him, and to be able to understand my feelings for him based on just those actions. I know I have to do my part in this relationship if I want it to go farther, which I do. I'll do my part by returning his kisses and hugging him back, and as long as he does his, I'm sure our relationship as lovers will blossom into a whole new level from what it is now. Until then I'll fantasize about when I'm not as aloof as I am now, but more close to him. Perhaps, I do just want us to have a wedding…


End file.
